So as most of you already know I have finally found the one true love of my life.
He is perfect (for me) in every possible way. He opens doors for me...and not just doors we are going through. He gets out of the car and walks around to open MY door for ME. I can't help but feel that I am in a 50's or 60's movie when this happens. He rubs my feet for me at the end of a long day (even though his day is much longer than mine).
If something is broke, he fixes it.
If something is wrong, he rights it.
And I love to watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful. And it makes me think about all he does when he is awake. How hard he works. How much he worries about having everything perfect. For me. For us. I could just squeeze him he's so cute when he sleeps. Of course I do that when he's awake too. He loves it. ~cough~
So can someone please explain to me how...when he is asleep he becomes my worst nightmare?
If we are watching a movie, he will undoubtedly fall asleep. This is because he rarely stops and is always working on something. So when he finally does slow down enough for his body to rest, he quickly and I mean quickly....falls asleep.
We can be lying in bed...in the middle of conversation...he can be in the middle of a sentence and immediately start to snore. And I know it can't be because I am boring...he was the one that was talking!
Anyway, I'm getting off track here. If he falls asleep on the couch, I need to wake him up to get him upstairs. I touch his face gently to wake him.
He opens his eyes.
He blinks at me and glares.
'What are you doing?!'
'uhh..I'm trying to wake you up?...soo you can go to bed....and not have a sore neck...?'
~grunts and growls~ rolls over and ignores me~
Afterward he rationalizes that I must have scared him for him to react the way I explained. Next time don't come so close to his face.
Next time, I touch his foot to wake him. He kicks my hand away and snaps at me again.
'I don't know what you're talking about, Dear' was what his reaction was to my question this time. And he's getting agitated because he thinks I'm trying to start a fight.
So, the next time I stand on the other side of the room and call his name until he wakes up...softer at first and gradually louder till he flutters an eyelid. This time he barks that I 'Didn't have to yell to wake me!'
By now I am furious....of course, each time I have been. But it gets worse with each instance. As I'm sure you can understand. And of course, a short time after each of these occurrences he comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me telling me how much he loves me. And when I stiffen up, still sore from the verbal lashing of his waking self....he seems hurt and confused.
What is happening here? I think to myself.
So I gradually stop waking him. At all. Even from another room. I start to bristle every time he falls asleep...afraid of what beast I might stir if I make too much noise.
Then he wakes himself up and sees that I have turned everything off and gone to bed. He wonders why I have left him and subsequently feels hurt. And I don't blame him. I would feel abandoned as well. And it hurts me to do that to him. But I truly feel I have no choice.
This past weekend, we went to the drive-in. He fell asleep during the second movie. I didn't try to wake him. It was a movie we've both seen a hundred times. And I knew he was tired from working a full two week period with no day off. When the movie was over, I slid my seat back up to it's original position. And the click caused him to open his eyes. Looking right at me.
'Thanks,' was his only comment.
'For what?' I said. Thinking he was upset that he had missed the movie and I hadn't tried to end his nap.
He shook and stirred, smiling at me...apologized for falling asleep. I said to not worry about it, he was tired. Then I asked him again, why he thanked me.
He didn't know what I meant. I said I did not wake him up. He said it must have been a noise. I said yes, my seat moving into the upright position made a noise. But he had no idea what he had said or why I was so mad.
And this time, I must admit, I really was pissed off. He is such a good man. He would never allow anyone else to speak to me the way this 'whoever-is-speaking-when-he-first-wakes-up' does. Which is why he gets so defensive because I am accusing him of doing it. And which is also why I get so upset when he does it. Because I know that HE would never do this.
The whole drive home.
He was mad.
I was madder.
~and yes I know Dad...people don't get mad, dogs do...people get angry....but I was MAD!~
Finally I let out a long breath and said to him.
'Do you love me?'
'Do you trust me?'
'Do you think I would lie to you?'
-'of course not'
'Then why do you think I would make this up?'
Complete silence the rest of the way home.
He cuddled up to me in bed.
And said he loved me.
But it wasn't until the next morning, when he woke me up and kissed me on my nose. That he said he believed me. Obviously I wasn't trying to cause problems. He knew this. But he felt like it was a slam at him. And he would never act like that.
So we agreed to band together against the forces of evil (his sleeping self)
I said I did not like him and I wanted him gone. He agreed.
I wonder if anyone else has had a similar experience with this.
I wonder if they would tell me.
We will work together to try and rid our lives of this other being who seemingly wants to cause problems.
Whoever he is.